Dark Bilious Vapors

The idea is, you take this list of characteristics that defines "an average American", and then cross out every characteristic that doesn't apply to you.

Eats peanut butter at least once a week
Prefers smooth peanut butter over chunky
Can name all Three Stooges [Hey, I can name all six Three Stooges!]
Lives within a 20-minute drive of a Wal-Mart [Usually; depends on traffic.]
Eats at McDonald's at least once a year
Takes a shower for approximately 10.4 minutes a day
Never sings in the shower
Lives in a house, not an apartment or condominium
Has a home valued between $100,000 and $300,000
Has fired a gun
Is between 5 feet and 6 feet tall
Weighs 135 to 205 pounds
Is between the ages of 18 and 53
Believes gambling is an acceptable entertainment option
Grew up within 50 miles of current home

Pretty damn average, I'd say.

Stolen from BSTommy, who's about as average as me, I'd say, but in different ways.

Len on 10.30.05 @ 10:09 AM CST