Dark Bilious Vapors

But how could I deny that I possess these hands and this body, and withal escape being classed with persons in a state of insanity, whose brains are so disordered and clouded by dark bilious vapors....
--Rene Descartes, Meditations on First Philosophy: Meditation I

Home » Archives » October 2005 » Funny... I never ran into this kind of guy as an undergrad....

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10/02/2005: Funny... I never ran into this kind of guy as an undergrad....


and I was a philosophy major in college: Guy In Philosophy Class Needs To Shut The Fuck Up

HANOVER, NH—According to students enrolled in professor Michael Rosenthal's Philosophy 101 course at Dartmouth College, that guy, Darrin Floen, the one who sits at the back of the class and acts like he's Aristotle, seriously needs to shut the fuck up.

His fellow students describe Floen's frequent comments as eager, interested, and incredibly annoying.

"He thinks he knows about philosophy," freshman Duane Herring said. "But I hate his voice, and I hate the way he only half raises his hand, like he's so laid back. We're discussing ethics in a couple weeks, but I don't know if I can wait that long before deciding if it's morally wrong to pound his face in."

"Today he was going on and on about how Plato's cave shadows themselves represent the ideal foundation of Western philosophical thought," said freshman Julia Wald moments after class let out Monday. "I have no idea what Plato's ideal reality is, but I bet it doesn't include know-it-all little shits."
(And no, I wasn't Washington University's version of that guy....)

Actually, it was in law school (no surprise, if you think about it) where, in my experience, you found annoying little shits like that. Hence the popularity of "Law School Bingo". The rules (which the linked to blogpost only hint at): draw a 5x5 matrix on a piece of paper. Fill in each of the squares of the matrix with the names of the students in your class who talk most in class (in most American law schools, these are the "know-it-all little shits" who pontificate at length, thinking that somehow points given by their professors for participation in class are going to mean the difference between success and failure at making Law Review on grades, to the extent that's still the accepted practice; a number of law student blogs that I've followed in the last few years suggest that it's becoming more and more rare, with some combination of grades and a writing competition being the deciding factor).

According to most rulesets I've read for this game, the center square of the matrix is a "free spot" (just like in your average church bingo game), though in some schools rumor has it that the name of the most obnoxious student who is practically guaranteed to talk up in every class is put in the center square. In any event, as students volunteer to answer questions and are called on to speak, place a coin or other marker over that student's name in your game matrix. When a student is called on so that you cover 5 spaces in a row (horizontally, vertically, or diagonally), say "BINGO!!!" in a sotto voce voice (the better to keep you from being identified by the professor, but loud enough that the rest of your class can hear).

Done correctly, the first time someone gets "Bingo" the class should dissolve into helpless laughter. One of the fondest memories of "middle of the class" students in most U.S. law schools....

Thanks to Serrabee for the pointer to The Onion.

Len on 10.02.05 @ 01:36 PM CST



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