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09/21/2005: Sad News: Another victim of Hurricane Katrina
Oktoberfest Seizes Chance to Replace Mardi Gras
MUNICH, GERMANIA: The southern German city of Munich seized upon its chance to replace New Orleans as the foremost destination for drunken debauchery by opening its 172nd Oktoberfest beer festival on Friday, a full two-weeks before October starts.For more of this BS...
The festival will run 32 days this year instead of the regular 16, extended to capitalize on the natural disaster that befell the festival’s chief rival only 3 weeks ago. The town Burge-meisters have also made several last-minute improvements in hopes of claiming top prize for ‘Best Debauchery Festival’ at the International Drunken Debauchery Commission's (IDDC) annual awards ceremony next year. These improvements included ratifying the legal exchange rate of Bratwursts for Titty-Flashes.
Munich’s lederhosen-clad mayor Christian Ude initiated this quest for debauchery dominance by madly tapping the first massive keg with a wooden hammer and crying out, “O’ zapft is, zwine-hounts!” or, “It’s on now, bitches!”
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Len on 09.21.05 @ 12:15 PM CST
