Dark Bilious Vapors

but it's reassuring to know that our allies across the pond have things all under control. Why, they just foiled an attempt by a Dalek to exterminate the British government.

ARMED police sprang into action after spotting A DALEK outside Parliament:

Worried the tin-plated terror was about to 'Exterminate' the Government, they quickly trained their machine guns on the invader. But the man behind the suit - Dr Who fan Ken Meikle, 46 - was able to convince them his Dalek's cannon fired nothing more deadly than water.

After delivering a stern ticking off, the officers escorted the lifesize fibreglass replica safely away from Westminster.

Ken, of Barrhead, Renfrewshire, was in London filming a promotional video for a stage version of cult classic Dr Who.

He has spent thousands of pounds creating Scotland's only fully motorised Dalek, which has a top speed of 5mph.

The Dalek even features a digital voice box which sounds exactly like the original robots, Dr Who's arch enemies in the classic show. Ken said: 'We had spent the whole morning filming in London and brought the place to a standstill.

'Cars were grinding to a halt in disbelief when they saw a Dalek trundling over Tower Bridge.

'And we were mobbed by Japanese tourists desperate for photos.

'But within seconds of the Dalek arriving outside Parliament, armed police officers came running up.

'It's fair to say they were not amused at being invaded by a time-travelling robot. 'They asked us what the hell we were doing, and then marched us as far away from Parliament as they could.

'I can laugh about it now, but it was pretty scary at the time.'

Len on 03.28.05 @ 12:53 PM CST