Dark Bilious Vapors

Rob Rosenberger, of the essential website Vmyths.com, has a musing on the institutional paranoia of the antivirus community. It'd be funny if it weren't being offered seriously:

IN 1991, THE experts told you to update your antivirus software on a quarterly basis. In other words, you'd inject a security patch into your PC on an average of four times per year.

If you failed to do this, your antivirus software might fail to work.

By 1996, the experts urged you to update your antivirus software on a monthly basis. In other words, you'd inject a security patch into your PC on an average of twelve times per year. If you failed to do this, your antivirus software might fail to work. You went to a three-fold increase in updates over a five-year period.

...

In mid-2000, the experts ordered you to update your antivirus software multiple times per day. In other words, you'd inject a security patch into your PC on an average of 700-1000 times per year. You needed to do this just to keep up with all of the variants of the horrifying ILoveYou virus. You went from a three-fold increase over five years to a four-fold increase over two years to a seven-fold increase over one year to a 2-3 fold increase over six months.

The experts eventually backed down a bit. They grudgingly admitted you could get away with updating your antivirus software multiple times per week. In other words, you could inject a security patch into your PC on an average of 100-200 times per year -- except on those occasions when a virus would strike. When a CNN anchor told you about a terrifying new virus, the experts implored you to temporarily increase your updating schedule.

Aha! But you'll notice I said "up to now."

...

The experts now chide you to update your antivirus software once an hour. In other words, you'd inject a security patch into your PC on an average of 8,760 times per year. You need to do this just to keep up with hordes of devastating new viruses.

You'll go from a three-fold increase over five years to a four-fold increase over two years to a seven-fold increase over one year to a 2-3 fold increase over six months ... to an 8-12 fold increase now.

8,760 antivirus updates per year. Per computer. "Wow." If you fail to update every hour, your antivirus software might fail to work.

And you pay for this privilege!

Len on 05.03.04 @ 08:21 AM CST